An open letter to the USA President

Author unknown......but, words so true. I notice point 9 is missing, so feel free to add in the comments section!

Dear President Obama and Holder:

I am planning to move my family and my extended family to Mexico for our health, and I would like to ask you to assist me. We’re planning to simply walk across the border from the United States into Mexico, and we’ll need your help to make a few arrangements. We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I am sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Calderon, that we are on our way over?

Please let him know that we will be expecting the following:
(1) Free medical care for my entire family
(2) English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services we might need, whether we use them or not
(3) Please print all Mexican government forms in English
(4) I want my grandkids to be taught Spanish by English-speaking (bilingual) teachers
(5) Tell their schools they need to include classes in American culture and history
(6) I want my grandkids to see the American flag on one of the flag poles at their school
(7) Please plan to feed my grandkids at school, both breakfast and lunch
(8) I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico, but I don’t plan to purchase car insurance, and I probably won’t make any special effort to learn local laws
(10) In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from their president to leave us alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer
(11) We plan to fly the American flag from our house top, put American flag decals on our car(s), and have a gigantic celebration every July 4th
(12) Those of us who choose to work, would like to have nice jobs without paying any taxes, or without having any labor or tax laws enforced on any business we may start
(13) Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be extremely nice and never say critical things about my family or me, or about the strain we might place on their economy
(14) We want to receive free food stamps
(15) Naturally, we expect free rent subsidies
(16) We will need income tax credits so although we don’t pay Mexican taxes, we will receive money from the government
(17) Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enroll us free into the Mexican Social Security System so that we will get a monthly income in retirement.

I know that this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all his people who walk over to the United States from Mexico. I am sure that President Calderon won’t mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.

Thank you so much for your kind help.

Sincerely,
American citizen